The Essay

Right now I am armed with Cherry Kool-aid and a box of Whoppers, and I am supposed to be cranking out my candidacy essay.  You know, the one where I tell my candidacy committee about my faith journey and how I am discerning my call to diaconal ministry?  Yeah, it's going nowhere fast.  I am struggling.  I have started over at least three times, and I don't like version four a whole lot right now.  Did I mention that my self-imposed deadline is tomorrow?  What I would really like to say is this...

Dear Candidacy Committee,
I was auditing a seminary class in February when God dropped a brick on me.  I thought I was there to get a break from my "mommy" role and to get some adult interaction.  I didn't intend to walk out of class that night and throw more craziness into my already crazy life!  It wasn't my plan to apply to seminary and enjoy it!  But God had other plans for me, and I have learned not to ignore God.  So here I am, a child of God, who is being the best mom she can be and the best teacher she can be and the best wife she can be and the best person she can be.  I am not perfect, but my parents always told me to do as I am told.  God has called me to diaconal ministry, and I choose to follow God.  I do not know where this call is headed, but it is where I am supposed to be.  I do not know how I will make all of this work, but it will.  God has a plan.  Perhaps God would be better equipped to write this essay? :)

Sincerely,
Koren

Obviously, I cannot turn that in to my committee.  They want my story...more eloquent than this and with more information.  They want to know who has influenced me and who supports me in my faith journey.  How do I take 37 years and fit it into a brief essay?  How do I put eloquent words onto paper when my head is filled with the language of kids under the age of 10?  How am I ever going to balance my family and school?  Why is writing this essay so stinking hard when I actually enjoy writing????

For those of you who follow my blog, yes, I have regressed in the worry department and, no, I never did get caught up on my Bible study.  Prayers, people!  I need some prayers!  Back to the essay....